GAAH! Waist deep snow. Yesterday I spent over three hours shoveling waist deep snow out of my rather long driveway. My back hurts. I hear three people have died of shoveling snow this weekend. I was not among them but there was a point where I could understand how it happens.
I'm tired. Stupid daylight savings time. You know, 7:30 came an hour early this morning. That wasn't fair. The kids I watch are sick today (how very encouraging for our overall health...) which means I could go back to bed. Except, I f'ed around on the computer too long and now my kids are up. Oops! We should go somewhere today. Maybe to the grocery store since I wasn't able to get out of the house on saturday like I had planned.
So. Much. Snow.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
cold season and personal growth
We've fared mostly well this cold seaons, with the exception of a "24 hour flu" in which Jonas only vomited once with no other symptoms, Lavinia had an evening of being pretty consistently sick but woke up feeling fine, and I felt like I was repeatedly run over by a truck for 4 days while emptying my stomach of all possible content every hour. It's seems really unfair, but in this I started to learn that I need to set some limits concerning my sleep/work priorities. People have been telling me this, and I've know it would be a good idea, but I guess I needed a good kick in the ass to really get it. Actually, I didn't "get it" right away after that, either. I'm thick.
I had been watching kids in my home mondays - thursdays (8 hours days, give or take), then working over nights thursdays and saturdays as a postpartum Doula. That's crazy, I know, but it paid the bills. As this routine started to really ware on me it also started to become less available. I slowly started to realize I can't live like this and stay healthy. Then that theory was proven rather efficiently.
Then I did something that surprised even myself. When a ridiculous, drive across town in a snowstorm to a house I've never been to, 1 night fill-in job was offered to me I turned it down. It's hard to fight the urge to make just a little more money because I know how much we need every little penny. At the same time, though, I know that we're doing fine and will continue to do fine, and that "need" is a really subjective term.
Since turning that job down I've felt much better about the whole thing, and am more willing to turn down opportuneties that really won't work well for me. I've started with a new (and very adorable) little one two days a week, and that will help fill the financial space of those jobs I thought I had to do. I'm feeling good about things, and in a few months I'll have this new cutie and her big brother three days a week which will put me ever so slightly above the two job income without any of the stress, lack of sleep, and lack of social life (for me and my kids)!
I know this sounds like very tiny steps, but for me it's breaking the mentality behind the actions that I'm excited about. That tiny step is going to make way for much larger personal progress. I think.
I had been watching kids in my home mondays - thursdays (8 hours days, give or take), then working over nights thursdays and saturdays as a postpartum Doula. That's crazy, I know, but it paid the bills. As this routine started to really ware on me it also started to become less available. I slowly started to realize I can't live like this and stay healthy. Then that theory was proven rather efficiently.
Then I did something that surprised even myself. When a ridiculous, drive across town in a snowstorm to a house I've never been to, 1 night fill-in job was offered to me I turned it down. It's hard to fight the urge to make just a little more money because I know how much we need every little penny. At the same time, though, I know that we're doing fine and will continue to do fine, and that "need" is a really subjective term.
Since turning that job down I've felt much better about the whole thing, and am more willing to turn down opportuneties that really won't work well for me. I've started with a new (and very adorable) little one two days a week, and that will help fill the financial space of those jobs I thought I had to do. I'm feeling good about things, and in a few months I'll have this new cutie and her big brother three days a week which will put me ever so slightly above the two job income without any of the stress, lack of sleep, and lack of social life (for me and my kids)!
I know this sounds like very tiny steps, but for me it's breaking the mentality behind the actions that I'm excited about. That tiny step is going to make way for much larger personal progress. I think.
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