...and on the table, and in the tea set, and the play toaster? *let it go, let it go, let it go...* "WHY IS THE ORANGE JUICE ALL OVER THE FREAKING HOUSE!?!?!" Oops. I really meant to let it go this time. Alright, so the orange juice incident may be directly related to my time-wasting on the computer, but really, why are they playing with orange juice at all? Is this mess making or learning? Oh damnit. It's the same thing. I'm just a freakin' control freak. Ok, fine, but what are they learning? No, stop it, stop it. ugh, I'm constantly dissecting their activities and behaviours. This may not be wise. I need to let it go.
It's probably that I want to show off how learny they are, and prove that unschooling works. It defeats the point of unschooling if I keep searching for and bragging about their "learning moments". Unschooling is supposed to be not focusing on this. It's supposed to be learning life. All their learning is relevant, not just the academic related things. I know this. I have nothing to prove here, really. I was unschooled - I know it works, that's why I'm doing it. Why do I keep second guessing myself? Why do I feel this overpowering desire to see academic "results"? Why am I measuring the importance of one type of skill against another? I don't need external validation to know that unschooling is good for us. My hope is that they will eventually learn that when you pour orange juice all over the table it spills onto the floor and makes a big sticky mess, which is unpleasant and you'll have to change your clothes which is inconvenient and disrupts the flow of the tea party. Not that when you pour orange juice all over the table mom yells at you and you don't have any fun.
Maybe I'm just a neat freak with mess hang ups. Actually that's not a maybe, that's a definite. There needs to be some middle ground that I can feel good about. The truth is, I'm exhausted and the thought of cleaning up an additional, huge mess is overwhelming. But it's not fair for me to refuse them such fantastic sensory experiences - especially Jonas. In fact, I should be ecstatic that he wants to get messy. That's such a positive thing. Except, you know, I have to clean up the mess when they're done. See, I really don't want to limit them out of convenience for me.
It's probably that I want to show off how learny they are, and prove that unschooling works. It defeats the point of unschooling if I keep searching for and bragging about their "learning moments". Unschooling is supposed to be not focusing on this. It's supposed to be learning life. All their learning is relevant, not just the academic related things. I know this. I have nothing to prove here, really. I was unschooled - I know it works, that's why I'm doing it. Why do I keep second guessing myself? Why do I feel this overpowering desire to see academic "results"? Why am I measuring the importance of one type of skill against another? I don't need external validation to know that unschooling is good for us. My hope is that they will eventually learn that when you pour orange juice all over the table it spills onto the floor and makes a big sticky mess, which is unpleasant and you'll have to change your clothes which is inconvenient and disrupts the flow of the tea party. Not that when you pour orange juice all over the table mom yells at you and you don't have any fun.
Maybe I'm just a neat freak with mess hang ups. Actually that's not a maybe, that's a definite. There needs to be some middle ground that I can feel good about. The truth is, I'm exhausted and the thought of cleaning up an additional, huge mess is overwhelming. But it's not fair for me to refuse them such fantastic sensory experiences - especially Jonas. In fact, I should be ecstatic that he wants to get messy. That's such a positive thing. Except, you know, I have to clean up the mess when they're done. See, I really don't want to limit them out of convenience for me.
1 comment:
You're getting all hung up about this. RELAX! You can be upset about the orange juice and it can still be a sensory experience.
You're creating a false dichotomy where being upset about a mess you have to clean up is in direct opposition to learning anything. It's not! The children witnessing your honest feelings is also learning. To remove how you feel about something is to create the false environment; is to shelter.
I mean, sure, try not to yell and shame them, but don't for a second think that not yelling is the goal because of what they're learning. Just be present and honest. That's enough.
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