A new year

Lately I've been having some kind of identity crisis, or something. I do this frequently. Not an all out "what does my life mean?" "who am I?" life falling apart crisis. I don't have that luxury. No, I have these mini, one or two day freak outs. I still function, as I have to, but I feel like just laying on the floor and crying. I generally isolate myself when possible (my kids don't count with this, they are always around) and contemplate complete life changes. I think sometimes this can be helpful, but usually it just seems selfish. I am a person who is constantly evaluating and am obsessed with self improvement, so a freak out is not a much needed catalyst of reflection, but perhaps it jumps starts a proactive attitude. To be honest, I'm not really sure.
Typically I shrug these off as a side effect of lack of sleep, getting sick, getting over being sick, being emotionally drained, stress and the like. But when I think about who I am, I mean the real me, this is part of it. This is just my crazy. It may be simply how I react to those things, but it is me. I need to accept my crazy. I may even need to embrace it.
I have been struggling with embracing the whole me. I don't have a good grasp on what this means, but I want to find out. Surely there are spots that need improvement, but I've spent too much time worrying about what people think, and wanting to make everyone happy and comfortable. I feel schizophrenic because it's like an impulse, not something that is largely important to me. It turns out that I don't actually care at all, so I need to stop being hung up about it. I want to be done caring about these pointless things that I don't care about. I'm not good at it, but with practice I hope I can be. I'm worrying about what you think as I write this. That's silly.  It's not easy to just put yourself out there.  Much easier to be agreeable, polite, and quiet out of a bizarre fear of rejection.